How strange it is that we are our own worst critiques. We continuously drag ourselves through the dirt with pessimism and self-loathing – and then wonder why we don’t feel chipper in the morning.
Any over thinker, like myself, knows that the voice inside your head can be a real bitch sometimes. It’s hard to feel adequate let alone good when your brain is stuck on the same Debbie-downer record “Fat, Ugly, Stupid, Annoying, Fat, Ugly, Stupid, etc.”
My anxiety has always played a big role in my own self-doubt. It makes me second guess everything, especially myself. I’ve seen a therapist, and I’ve downloaded countless breathing apps, and although they do work to a degree, I realised that to combat my insecurities I had to work on how I saw myself.
Sometimes all you need is to pat yourself on the back and say ‘you’re doing just fine’– and then believe it.
It’s way too damn easy to get caught up with the world around you. We are being bombarded daily with barrages of ridiculously toned people lazing on the beach, sixteen-year-olds with million-dollar bank accounts and (most recently for me) fellow graduates getting engaged and having babies. It’s hard not to compare yourself when this Bullsh*t’s going on.
But they don’t matter because we’re focussing on us.
Everyones different, everyone has a different story, and NO ONE goes through life without feeling a twinge of worry that life is greener on the other side.
You need to give yourself an Oscar-worthy pep talk. Maybe you helped a stranger find the right bus, maybe you got the job you wanted, or maybe you answered a really tricky question in a lecture and didn’t stutter – whatever it is, make sure you congratulate yourself.
And on another note if you don’t get something right, or if you do that thing where you make someone repeat themselves like 5 times and you still can’t understand them – don’t put yourself down. You are fine – just maybe stop listening to Rio on max volume when you drive home from work – note to self. (Full disclaimer, I am not sponsored by Duran Duran) (unfortunately).
There will still be days that you wake up feeling like the Barb to everyones Nancy, but that’s normal. We all have self-doubt, the trick is not to let it consume you. Instead of saying ‘oh I would never be good at that‘ to the groovy pottery course you’ve always wanted to take (again, personal experience) be open to the idea that you might be a rockstar in the realm of clay.
I didn’t want this to be an excuse post on why I haven’t been blogging. Instead, I want it to be a step in a new direction – because I don’t want to wait for a new years resolution to take this seriously. I have breakdowns, sometimes I don’t feel like I have enough to offer in this bloggersphere and sometimes I feel like giving up entirely.
But I won’t because I love doing this, and instead of letting it be one of the things that brings me down, I’m going to make it one of the things that gets me out of bed in the morning.
Hopeless Ventures has got her mojo back.